lutrinae lutra lutra

( thinking and planning and shitbears etc )

He was doing the crossword in the Herald when Jo came in through the closed door, her once black hair now sort of shimmering in its translucence. It made her even more beautiful, in his opinion, and he wondered often if it was just as silky, or even moreso. "Morning," he said. "What's an eight letter word for dilemma?"

"How are you handling this so easily?" She moved to stand next to him, looking consideringly for a moment at one of the empty chairs but making no effort to sit - or at least to appear to sit - in it.

Pepper shrugged, skipping the clue and moving to fill in 17 across, Swiss mountain, with ALP. "Two options. Either you're really a ghost, which has loads of precedent and is really no weirder than all the ghosts at school. Or I'm hallucinating. Which would make me pretty fucking crazy, but I think I have just cause, so it's sort of un-worrying."

"I can't even touch you..."

At that he looked up, expression pure and sad, unmarred by the guilt that usually featured in the backs of his eyes. "I really did want to have a baby with you, you know."

Look out liars and you highlife scum
who gotta keep your victims poor and dumb--
Your motives and your methods are not disguised
( by your silk, soap, sex, or your smiling lies )

Pepper's death letters are never going to be sent now, but I was having thoughts on the way home from Egyptian about what he would say mostly to the Albion people so I'm writing that one out for fun, since it's relevant to the interests of the most people.


( Completely re-written, August 8, 1980 )

Spoilers for the entire first season of The Mentalist, all of Torchwood and, er, Blurred Lines.


( Patrick Jane, Ianto Jones and Octavius Pepper - the broken tools )

the player
name: Kei
age: 24
contact: thepocketotter (AIM)
timezone: GMT+12
experience: http://pocketotter.insanejournal.com/272.html and runbenjyrun specifically

( just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing! )

Title: Mutual Service: The Essential Condition of Life 3/3
Author: Kei
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Set in the Mutual Service verse. I highly recommend you read at least that that first, or this won't make much sense.
Summary: Ianto's resurrection has consequences, consequences that the Doctor has taken enough interest in to travel to Cardiff for.


( Nothing was happening, and Jack wondered how long they would have to wait. )

Title: Mutual Service: The Essential Condition of Life 2/3
Author: Kei
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Set in the Mutual Service verse. I highly recommend you read at least that that first, or this won't make much sense.
Summary: Ianto's resurrection has consequences, consequences that the Doctor has taken enough interest in to travel to Cardiff for.


( In a house in St Fagans, Mabyn Cromwell was knelt on the kitchen floor, sobbing. )

Title: Mutual Service: The Essential Condition of Life 1/3
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Set in the Mutual Service verse. I highly recommend you read at least that that first, or this won't make much sense.
Summary: Ianto's resurrection has consequences, consequences that the Doctor has taken enough interest in to travel to Cardiff for.


( Jack made a noise of disgust as he and Gwen peeled off dirty and sopping clothing... )

Title: Mutual Service: Five Death-Related Logistical Issues That Ianto Raises With Jack
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Set in the Mutual Service verse. I highly recommend you read at least that first, or this won't make much sense.


( 'If I was dead for two months,' Ianto asks one day... )

Title: Mutual Service: Change Is The Only Constant
Author: Kei
Pairing: slight Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Set in the Mutual Service verse. I highly recommend you read that first, or this won't make much sense.

After this will be a sort of light-hearted listfic, and then I'm working out the details of something plottier involving the Doctor.


( It wasn't hard to figure out where Ianto would be. )

Title: Mutual Service
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: very slight Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13 for themes
Notes: AU. Some dialogue taken from They Keep Killing Suzie. When some misplaced technology triggers a custom-coded lockdown, Torchwood quickly realises the quickest way to open up the Hub again is to get the program's creator to shut it off. The only problem is that Ianto Jones is dead.

For those interested, 51'30'18N 00'01'16E is the location of Canary Wharf in latitude and longitude.

Title taken from the suicide note of Charlotte Perkins Gilman: "Human life consists in mutual service. No grief, pain, misfortune, or 'broken heart,' is excuse for cutting off one's life while any power of service remains. But when all usefulness is over, when one is assured of an unavoidable and imminent death, it is the simplest of human rights to choose a quick and easy death in place of a slow and horrible one." Cheerful, I know.


( For once it is a slow week for the four members of Torchwood Three. )

Title: If It Had to Perish Twice
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: implied Jack/Ianto, Ianto/Lisa
Rating: PG-13 (minor character death)
Summary: AU. Sometimes keeping secrets is the worst thing for us.


( 1. Ianto is feeling the cold )

It occurs to me that very few of my Slytherins ever actually want total power. None of them want to be overlords, none of them want to be Minister. Astra wants to be exactly what she is. Dung wants to get away with his crimes, almost for the thrill of it I sometimes think. He could get a proper job, probably, but he likes the underworld, and especially now that the Ministry is run by the "bad guys" he works to keep himself from getting caught.

( More Slytherins in store now )

Title: Five Conversations Jack and Ianto Had Between The Lines
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13


( Five Conversations Jack and Ianto Had Between The Lines )

Title: Dr Seuss does Torchwood
Fandom: Dr Seuss/Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Notes: Set at the start of season two, but presuming no previous Jack/Ianto relationship. Dub-con?


( This is the most ridiculous piece of crack I have ever written )

Title: Rehab
Fandom: BL
Characters: Pepper
Rating: PG


( It turns out just anyone can waltz into the reception area of the brand spanking new rehabilitation centre... )

Title: Contingencies
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
Notes: *hits more of the obligatory Jack/Ianto fanfic cliches*


( There's a certain way Captain Harkness pronounces his name, slow American drawl... )

Title: Assistance
Fandom: BL/Torchwood/Invisible Man
Characters: Pepper, Ianto, Eberts
Rating: G
Notes: There is no point to this whatsoever, really, I just liked the mental image.


( The silence in the anteroom was pervasive. )

Give me (at least) two characters from different fandoms that you know I'm familiar with and I'll give you a dialogue happening between the two of them. Without justifying how the crossover would work, how their worlds clashed, or how they could even meet each other. Just a silly crossover conversation with no backstory, for fun.

Title: Take Back the Night
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17, kink
Summary: Ianto has a unique way of dealing with any unresolved issues post-Cyberwoman. Set late season one.
Notes: I think I overuse hyphen-words.


( 'Tell me,' Jack says... )

Title: Property of Torchwood
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, shades of Ianto/Lisa
Rating: R
Notes: Obligatory post-Cyberwoman fic. Because I'm nothing if not derivative.

( Property of Torchwood. It would be apt. )

Pepper has made with the crazy. It's funny, because he was quite sane when he started out. Well, I say quite, but reasonably. He wasn't insane, he didn't have delusions of any kind, he actually had a very pragmatic worldview - with the upbringing he had, he never really had a shot at idealism, after all.

But between the PTSD and the insistence that everything shit that's happened to him in the last couple of years had to mean something, because if it doesn't then it's just random and everything he's lost is for nothing, he really is just not well in any sense of the word. I don't think post-war therapy is going to fix him too easily. Especially since from this point on I think he's going to be willing to do horribly bad things. He did it before out of sacrifice, thinking that he did it to protect other people from having to do it, but if he believes that it wasn't for nothing, then it means that he's supposed to be like this, and that means that it doesn't matter what he does because he's supposed to do bad things. It's not sacrifice, it's purpose. And that's a lot scarier.

Comment with one of my characters (past or present) and I will tell you the following:

1. What initially prompted me to like the character enough to write about him/her.
2. One of his/her best traits.
3. One of his/her worst traits.
4. How easy/difficult I find it to write the character.
5. The story/thread/chapter/post/paragraph/tag/phrase where I feel that I truly captured the character.
6. My plans (if any) to write the character in the near future.

Title: Forget-me-not
Prompt: Please forget me never
Pairing: Pepper/Jo
Rating: R


( This creature was not his wife. )

Title: And Paid For
Pairing: Pepper/Aubrey
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The Ministry social club holds a slave auction as a fundraiser and Pepper wants to get the most from his purchase.


( 'I don't think, really, the whole slave deal extends to...' )

Earlier this week I was pondering the whole closure issue for Pepper - the only real funeral/memorial service they had for Mill was basically about an hour or so after she died and Pepper didn't attend, instead going for a walk by himself and avoiding the end of it when he came back. And since then he's really felt pretty alone in his grief, especially after he told everyone what had happened and Ioan demanded he take it down to protect Tibby. And like a month and a half later, it felt like he'd never really got that sense of her moving to the next life, so to speak, he's just sort of been in this grief limbo, so I was debating him having his own very private funeral where he essentially cremates her journal, which he stole out of her room when he was packing up her things way back in February. In the end I decided not to post it and he's started to come through it on his own, but for archival, the narrative is here.


( There's nothing I'd like better than to fall / But I fear I have nothing to give )

Title: Fear of the Dark
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Suzie Costello, team
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Inspired by a line from a re-cap of They Keep Killing Suzie about how at the end of the episode she resembles a child who's scared of the dark. It's a somewhat paltry attempt at a character study though. :/


( Suzie is twenty nine years old and sometimes wakes up sobbing )

Title: Kicking and Screaming
Prompt: That's what almost happened
Pairing: Pepper/Ursula
Rating: R
Summary: There are always choices. Some are better than others.


( It could have gone like this: )

Title: Met a Woman in a Bar
Pairing: Pepper/Mill
Rating: R for descriptions of sex
Notes: A sequel-of-sorts to scenario #3 in Three Ways Pepper Didn't Meet Millicent


( Despite it all, Pepper manages to remain silent on the subject until February of 1980... )

I have this problem of starting things and never finishing them. So, here are some assorted pieces of fic, various types and lengths.


( #1, Pepper is a criminal )

*

( #2, sequel to Points of Survival )

*

( #3, Zach gets Sorted into Slytherin )

*

( #4, Pepper goes to Aubrey's flat instead of Jo's when his is destroyed )

Title: Three Ways Pepper Didn't Meet Millicent (But Kind Of Wishes He Did)
Pairing: Pepper/Mill
Rating: PG-13


( Filing was boring as all fuck... )

I really have no excuse for this whatsoever. Also I started it in June of last year. It's not intended to be in any way serious or meaningful.

Title: - 1/?
Fandom: Blurred Lines/Torchwood
Pairing: Pepper/Jack
Rating: PG-13


( 'Did you have to wear that stupid jacket?' )

Title/Prompt: Wither
Pairing: Marius/Astra
Rating: PG

( Astra never wanted to be a widow. )

Title: The Seventh Circle
Pairing: Pepper/Jo
Rating: R
Summary: When the war is over, Pepper struggles to find a place in a society that no longer has a need for the violent.


( The war ends and everyone celebrates. )

( Ghost!Pepper: longing, ennui )

Title: Sleeping with Ghosts
Pairing: Pepper/Aloysius
Rating: NC-17
Notes: St Patrick's Day possible scene filler


( Although he doesn't like hearing it, Aloysius is tremendously pretty. )

Title: Of The Spectacular Sort
Pairing: Doris/Pepper
Rating: PG-13

( 'Sexual experimentation. 'S the only way.' )

Title: Training Days
Author: Kei's Army
Fandom: HP; Blurred Lines RPG
Pairing: Pepper, Aloysius
Rating: PG-13 for language - lots of it


( Pepper broke through the binds of sleep as though breaking the surface of a dark pool )

I feel like Pepper is one of those people who, when sick, goes into social isolation. When we had a random unrelated-to-plot flu outbreak in the Ministry last year he relegated himself to the couch and bathroom - consciously he told himself it was so he wouldn't bother Jo overnight but I suspect quite a bit of it was this secret need to be in his own space, away from people.

If the DEs had never taken over the Ministry-- well, he wouldn't be going through alcohol withdrawal to start with, but if there was a situation where he still had his flat with Jo and he was going through withdrawal, he would be very, very stubbornly refusing to accept Aloysius' offer to stay there. He has a lot of pride and grit and determination when he wants to and he would be very set about just bunking down in their flat and staying there until either he was better or he failed.

Being at camp is where it gets extra interesting though, because he's not just alone with Jo. Half the ex-DMLE is there too, in a very social-living environment, and these are not all his close friends. In fact, very few of them are particularly close to him, and even those ones he does tend to hold at arm's distance - in the Kate/Pepper log she observed that their friendship is not based on sharing intimate details about their lives, despite the fact that they'd been intimate. And he would very much hate to have people he doesn't know very well and doesn't like, and who don't like him, wandering around nearby when he's at such a low point. It would make him feel very, very vulnerable.

So his decision, essentially, on whether to retreat to Aloysius' basement, is a battle of different kinds of pride - whether to let Aloysius "win", and do something that feels like an admission of failure, need, incapability, and to put himself in a position where he's essentially relying on someone he hasn't before (which I could elaborate on an awful lot, actually; his relationship with Aloysius is so, so different to Jo or Mill), or to do it on his own but allow an awful lot of people to see him in a very weak position.

And, yes, ultimately it's inevitable that he'll relent to the lesser of two evils and give in to Aloysius. It'll probably be strange for him because I think in the past he's subconsciously figured.... hm, how to word this. He considers himself more independent in the relationship than Aloysius probably does. Like his frustrated "I didn't ask you to worry!", he has gone past the point where it's a relationship of momentary amusement and convenience, but he hasn't reached the mutual absolute trust he has with Jo and he definitely doesn't feel the sort-of-submission he did with Mill. So letting/making himself rely on Aloysius for basically the first time? Going to actually be a bit nervy for him, I think.

Comment with one of my characters and I'll tell you what kind of dinosaur I think they are.

Picking up Zach makes me wish it was Rhetoric of Conversation I was waiting for and not Aims and Aids, which is specifically for girls - I do have an etiquette book directed to men, but it's mostly for actual society, which there isn't going to be much of considering the situation they're in, and the RoC would be brilliant to read right now. I'm in this place where I need to find a balance between scathingly bitchy, without being low-class about it, especially interacting with Draco because Zacharias thinks that Draco is vulgar and nouveau riche and he's really, really wanting to just be the Bigger Man and put him down in subtle, classy fashions. I mean, he's not a master at it, by far. He's a pretty blunt, tactless person, essentially. But he does need to be a couple of steps up when he's dealing with other purebloods.

I also have to remember that the sociopolitical minefield of pureblood society in BL is a lot more complex than in other games. Most of the rules I'm used to playing by, other players won't have a clue exist.

Who: Zacharias and Terry
When: Friday night, during prefects patrols
Where: Hufflepuff dorms
What: Here's a scene, there's a scene, and another little scene. Drama scene, fluffy scene, scene of scene of SMUT!
Rating: See above.
Status: AIM/COMPLETE.


( Terry hadn't got back yet by the time Zacharias went upstairs, steeling himself through a brief shower. )

I feel like, with Mill gone, it's like a completely different phase in Pepper's life now - I actually went and changed his Mental Health section specially. He likes to think of himself as an extremely independent person, and he's an introvert in that when he's upset he wants to damn well be alone. He's always needed his own space, it's part of why he was so anxious about getting really serious with Jo because when you're married you can't just retreat back to your own flat and get some space without making it be a deliberate thing. But he did rely on Mill, a huge amount. And the fact that it was so sudden and unexpected is really troubling for him.

( Pepper ramble )


Astra is a whole different ballgame. Right now of course she's fretting like a mad thing. Rodolphus is this huge figure, very much the head of the family and she's terrified of the idea that he could die. He's supposed to be at the second wedding, the one they're having mostly just so Rodolphus and Corbina can be there, and he's supposed to see his grandchildren so he knows his line is continuing on. He can't die now when everything's so unfinished.

( shorter Astra ramble )


And a meme!

Request a character and I will answer all of the following questions for them.

( Questions x20 )

( Mundungus Fletcher )

The lovely thing about Pepper is that I can revel in his flaws. He is petty, vindictive, passive-aggressive, touchy, holds a grudge, and not only is he aware of this, he takes great pleasure in it.

( This got longer than I intended )

Johnny Rotten
Alan Tudyk
Rolf Kristian Larsen
Caleb Turman
Finlay Robertson
Tom Atkin

How long have you been roleplaying? Since I was.... fifteen? So nine years.
How many characters do you currently have? Four, hoping for a couple of others. I'm going to count all my HP characters though.
How many of them are in a relationship? Two. (Except for this question.)
What's your favorite current romantic pairing? Probably Pepper/Jo. They're so unconventional and prickly and dark and sweet all at once.
What's your favorite romantic pairing that you've ever had? Terry/Zacharias.
Which of your characters is most likely to kiss on a first date? Uh, Pepper. Because he doesn't even go on dates, he just jumps his friends.
Which of your characters is most likely to sleep with someone they just met? Pepper.
Which of your characters is most likely to have a one night stand? ...Pepper
Which of your characters is most likely to have an affair with someone much older? *shifty* Pepper
Which of your characters is most likely to have an affair with someone younger than them? Aha! Hestia, I think. Maybe Florence. Or Demelza.
Which of your characters is most likely to have an affair with someone who's married? And we're back to Pepper, AS LONG AS the other married party didn't mind. Otherwise, maybe Demelza.
Which of your characters is most likely to get pregnant without being married first? Demelza
Which of your characters (that is not already a parent) is likely to become a parent? Well, Astra, technically. Other than her, possibly Zacharias depending on the time stream (I do want to play him in a game where there's a push for him to go through with an arranged marriage), or Florence. A Pepper/Jo spawn would be hilarious, but he has so many reasons he doesn't want to procreate.
Which of your characters is most likely to get married? Of the ones that aren't, Florence.
Which of your characters is most likely to never get married? Clara. >.> Of humans, Benjy, Zacharias, Hestia.
Which of your characters is most likely to stay married longest? Pepper. I don't think he believes in divorce. Ditto Astra, and I think I want to say Zacharias as well.
Which of your characters is most likely to get a divorce? Demelza, maybe Florence.

( Lots of images )

Torchwood by title
Contingencies (Jack/Ianto, NC-17)
Fear of the Dark (Suzie, PG-13)
Five Conversations Jack and Ianto Had Between The Lines (Jack/Ianto, PG-13)
If It Had to Perish Twice (implied Jack/Ianto, Ianto/Lisa, PG-13)
Mutual Service (slight Jack/Ianto, PG-13)
Mutual Service: Change is the Only Constant (slight Jack/Ianto, PG-13)
Mutual Service: Five Death-Related Logistical Issues That Ianto Raises With Jack (Jack/Ianto, PG-13)
Mutual Service: The Essential Condition of Life (Jack/Ianto, PG-13)
Property of Torchwood (Jack/Ianto, R)
Take Back the Night (Jack/Ianto, NC-17, kink)

Crossovers
Assistance (BL/Torchwood/Invisible Man, G)
Dr Seuss does Torchwood (Dr Seuss/Torchwood, PG)

Untitled
x3 (Pepper/Jo, Pepper/Aubrey, Pepper/Aubrey, PG-13-NC-17)
Scene fill (Pepper/Jo/Aloysius, NC-17)
Seven Spells #3 (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
Seven Spells #4 (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)

Prompt fills
Zacharias "Ends", Demelza "He"
Character Emotions
Emotions - Ghost!Pepper: longing, ennui
Of The Spectacular Sort (Doris/Pepper, PG)
Wither (Marius/Astra, PG)
Kicking and Screaming ("That's what almost happened", Pepper/Ursula, R)

By Title
Aftermath (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
Amends (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
And Paid For (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
Birthday Cheer (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
Chicken Scratch (Terry/Zacharias, PG)
Courting Terence (Terence/Sorrell, PG)
Dancers (Daphne, Zacharias, PG)
Day in the Life Of (Pepper/Jo, R)
The Decline of All Things (Pepper/Jo, R)
Disciplinary Actions (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
Discreetly Indiscreet (Pepper/Mill, G)
Flight (Zacharias, Ernie, PG)
Four Times Bertram Aubrey Got Octavius Pepper Into Bed (And One He Didn't) (Pepper/Aubrey, PG-13)
Getting Older (Pepper/Aubrey, R)
Glow (Cedric/Zacharias, NC-17)
A Good Run (Zacharias, Ginny, PG)
History (Pepper/Aubrey, R)
I'll Be Your... Something-or-Rather (Pepper/Aloysius, PG)
Independence (Zacharias, Justin, G)
Leather (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
Love is a Four Letter Word (Pepper/Aubrey, R)
Maladroit (Pepper/Jo, R)
Met a Woman in a Bar (Pepper/Mill, R)
Moments of Tenderness (Pepper/Aubrey, PG-13)
My Dear Watson (Pepper/Aubrey, R)
On Hufflepuffs (Zacharias, G)
Out of Bounds (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
Points of Survival (Pepper, PG-13)
Possession (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
Really Good Quidditch Players (Hermione, Zacharias, PG)
Rehab (Pepper, PG)
Ribbon (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
Say My Name (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
The Seventh Circle (Pepper/Jo, R)
Shooting Your Mouth Off (Pepper/Aubrey, NC-17)
A Similar Bent (Pepper/Aubrey, Pepper/Jo, NC-17)
Sleeping with Ghosts (Pepper/Aloysius, NC-17)
Three Ways Pepper Didn't Meet Millicent (Pepper/Mill, PG-13)
Training Days (Pepper, Aloysius, PG-13)
The Unbearable Darkness of Being (Pepper/Jo, PG-13)