lutrinae lutra lutra

So everyone seems to be watching productions of the 'Nutcracker' right now due to Christmas coming up, and it's making me feel really nostalgic about when I used to do ballet, especially when I got to be in the National Ballet of Canada's production when I was nine back in December 1995/January 1996. I could probably write up a huge tl;dr about that because the entire process -- from the audition, to the costume fitting, to the rehearsals, to the actual performances -- is still remarkably clear in my memory, and I should before it's something I forget forever.

Looking back at my CDJ's old entries, I have a screenshot of when a stock photograph with me in it was used on the official website two years ago (even though that picture would have been twelve-years-old by then); I have a lot more photographs elsewhere that shows the costume in more detail, as well as some behind-the-scenes pictures, but I'll have top find those and scan them in later; in the meantime, I'm pretty sure I'm the squinty one pretending to be a Russian lamb on the far left.

( Xan photograph time. )

This year's official site has a much newer and clearer picture that shows the costume here (scroll up). And now that I think about it, I've actually NEVER seen a production of the 'Nutcracker' myself, ever -- including the run I was in that's still going on today, unless you count the green-room television or watching a scene from backstage after the one I was in was finished; the first year they did that production was when I was in it, and it'll be the 15th anniversary next Christmas.

The sky outside is purple :)

I need to finish Rols' strengths and weaknesses, history, war stance, and third person sample, which I already know what's going to be written. I desperately need to get her done tonight and wish I'd finished Hannah for mulligan_mods earlier so I could've focused on Rols all weekend.

And she's at rols, if anyone wants to do backplot with her or anything, I'd really like that for Christmas.

And also I am hungry.

If anybody wanted to see my banana cake, it looks like ( this )

Cut for picture size! And it tastes pretty darn good!

Pairing: Past-life AUFrench!Sean/Lena Wood
Prompt: Hands
Requested by: NA
Notes: just a bit of randomness, i'm not sure how well i like this one

( you are not mine to ask things of but i ask you anyway )

Request more here!

Hmmmm I need a listy-list!

( Cut so you can scroll past )

idk if I'm forgetting anything. I need to put up something for Oliver at 91 as a reaction to the fair stuff. And probably try to put up an open thread or two at Fair. Andddddd oh! I want to finish the fic I started last night and...Gosh, I still feel like I'm forgetting something!

I have no idea what. But if any of you want any of mine for play or whatever, just let me know! ♥

Dear friends, I need your help.

I'm not really all that into the occult, but for an app I'm working on, I need to start looking into a lot more than just the normal things like vampires, werewolves, and the Loch Ness monster. However, I know that many of you know a bunch of stuff (esp you Neo people and your Magics and Gothics srsly you impress me [wtf is an áńt’įįzhį, Endischee?] or any of you with your comic books).

So if you could give me the names of random supernatural shit for me to look up, I would be forever grateful. Legends, creatures, cursed items, etc etc. Whatever it is, I may need it, because I am fail at this. I mean, I'd never heard of a chupacabra before this year.

Thank you.

Okay. I have Stuff to Catch Up on!

I have made the quiche for today. Then I will shower and load up the car with the blankets my mum wants me to bring her. And I will bring her and the coworkers quiche for lunch. And then I want to stop once at the grocery store, then home to pack the textbooks I've sold to mail off, add this semester's books to half.com to sell, clean my room, go through and start sorting things to pack/throw away.

My Norton anti-virus has expired and I can't really afford $70 to renew it right now. I have Ad-Aware and I need to run it because I've been getting a lot of pop-ups on IE and I don't know why. It's never been a problem before so I wonder if it's some sort of trojan horse or something? I've gotta run ad-aware and...Do any of you guys know of any others that might work better or whatnot? That are relatively affordable?

ACTUALLY Ad-Aware keeps making my computer freeze, so idk what's going on with that?

RP-wise I have just a couple of tags to catch up on and I want to try to update with my characters who owe updates in their games. Annndddd yes.

I am going to eat my quiche now, and then see about starting the rest of my day.

Man, I am so restless tonight and antsy and bored and lonely and I just want to rp tonight.

But I have enough logs going that I don't want to start anything new, but I'm caught up on tags so I'm just waiting and I feel stuck.

So, the Notts at BW (Aeneas and Cressida) still need a maiden name for their mom. A pureblooded one. We'd prefer a relation in game, so. Any takers? They're already related to the Macnairs. One can NEVER have too many cousins, right?

Okay I think I'm caught up on tags for the moment and will slowly poke at tags and stuff as I get them. I'm not sure yet if I'll work on any other fics or writing projects. I'm itching to write but I'm feeling a bit lazy about it too. It's weird.

Last night was interesting. One of my high school friends took me to Pluckers, a wing bar up here in Dallas. It was $2 margarita night, so I had one and then had one of their "Toxic Tea"s which was sweet tea with raspberry liqueur and vodka. You couldn't taste the vodka and it was so good and I wanted more. But I didn't want to drink too much so I stopped myself after the two. Which was fine because I was starting to feel it and I ended up hanging out for a little while when I got home and then falling asleep at like eight. I'm such a lightweight it's almost pathetic.

I should get up to feed the dogs and stuff. And try to get things started for my day.

( umm... twitter? -- Cut for screenshot )

ETA: http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_political/4870139.html (hat tip: sherlock)

Is anyone contemplating Beery? Or Merrythought? #bw_mods

If I get on AIM today please yell at me. #Finals

hello my name is mimi and i have not slept

Is there anyone applying at bw_mods who is apping a halfblood girl (or considering apping a halfblood girl) who would like to have some plot with me? *Preferably Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff.

If so, I'd like to talk! Please to be inquiring here.

( Ginny Weasley for Lost in Hogsmeade )

My application for Edward was finally accepted at bw_mods!

( Look! )

This is the best day ever. I had to do a bunch of edits, but in the end it was worth it and I think he's a much stronger character now.

ALSO please note what he is involved in. AND THE SPARKLES.

So, this is super embarrassing, but I'm preserving it for my own records. And for wow, idiot, sympathy.

My friend Gina came up here tonight. We started at about 9 o'clock at the local bar. Dollar rum and cokes started at ten, so I had an amaretto sour to start off. Then Gina's mom texted us from another bar saying to come see her, she'd buy us a drink. We went, except Gina's mom, her friend, and a girl I went to high school with were all there. They ALL bought be drinks, so I had two huge shot-things, and a Mike's Hard Cranberry.

We left that bar and went back to the one that we started at and I started with a double rum and coke. Then a whiskey sour. Then two more rum and cokes. I was drinking basically the same as Gina and DAMN, has that girl got a liver on her. She was okay and I was drunk. So we left the bar, and her parents own a pizza place, so we decided to go there to get something to eat. We got there, I was okay. I was like, totally drunk, but okay. It was about 11 by then, so I'd drunk all of that in like, two hours, maybe a bit more.

Then I went out for a cigarette and sat down along the wall of the pizza place. Then I decided to lay down and had extreme difficulty getting up. I ate one french fry and ran for the bathroom. I spent about an hour in there, first throwing up, then just lying there, contemplating how one stands when one is that miserably wasted. Finally, Gina came in, and her dad helped me get up. She drove me home (I think she'd sobered up some by then), and when I got home, she put me on the couch in our living room and called for my mom.

Then my poor, martyr of a mother held my hair back as I vomited, shook like a leaf for about an hour, and insisted my dad call the hospital to make sure I wasn't dying of alcohol poisoning (I wasn't). I probably spent an hour and a half at least with my eyes closed but unable to pass out, from lying down on the pizza place's bathroom floor till an hour after I'd gotten home, people were just leading me around. Poor people who give a shit about me. I'm better now, though surprisingly still drunk. (It's 4:30. I stopped drinking at LEAST five hours ago. And I'm still drunk.)

Lessons learned:
1) I really am a lightweight.
2) Pace self. Pace self, Meg. Slow down. Just because you can pound it with the best of them doesn't mean it won't catch up to you.
3) You knew that being sick wasn't cool. Why did you do this to yourself?

ETA: I have sobered up enough that writing this post wasn't overly difficult. But walking is hard.

Yup yup, it's another mix by yours truly! I made a Regulus mix ages ago for Memories '75, but figured it was time for a new one. That Regulus was only 14 years old and the recent heir to the House of Black, and I figured that sparethenheir is due his own set of songs as a soundtrack his current circumstances.

This isn't supposed to be like my Barty mix, which was going for a certain mood and style. I picked each song here for their perceived relevance. I've included some snippets of lyrics below the cut, but I've left off explanations, figuring most were pretty obvious. Enjoy!

And PS - I loooooove comments.

( Regulus Black : They'll Kill the Actor in the End )

( Application: Rolanda Hooch )

I've finally settled in up here in MA...it's very weird, since I'm actually using my laptop on a proper hard surface instead of on my lap. I'm very tired and weepy (tired because I was flying all day and weepy because I miss teh boy), but I'm staying up to go with my parent(s) to pick my brother up from the airport because they are old and tired and my father can't drink coffee because he has health issues lately.

ANYWAY. Staring at bw_mods and I still have absolutely no idea who to hold, but I feel like if I don't hold someone, I won't end up holding anyone, and I don't want to do that. I'm just...really freaking tired and cranky tonight, and I can't think. Nngh.

Nvm, held Rolanda Hooch and mini Keira Knightley, huzzah!

/pity party with cupcakes

Next week work wise is going to kill me! Let me explain to you all why:

My Work Schedule thus far!

Sunday the 20th - 6:30 am -2:15 pm
Monday the 21st - 6:30 am-5:15 pm (Which is about a 10 hour day at work!!!)
Wed the 23rd - 11:15-7:30 pm
Satuday the 26th 5:30 am -7:30pm 

The only good things are that I work 30+ hours that week and I get out early on Sunday. Besides that I am going to be very very tired and cranky.

blurred_war just opened up for holds and you should all check it out. It's a HP game set during WWII in 1943 and it is going to be amazing.

no, really. AMAZING.

That is all.

( Game Premise )

man oh man.

I went to a local bar with my parents because they promised me they'd take me out at midnight and the bar gave me a free long island iced tea and then I drank another and an amaretto sour and I am WAY drunker than I intended to be tonight as I have some of my parents' gin. and juice.

Dear omystarling & everyone else who commented on this post,

Tonight was lovely & enlightening, in a good many ways. You're all fantastic, even if you don't think you were being eloquent.

Thank you.
♥, Kassie.

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY corporatecake

There will be a drabble here soon for your bday.

I had forgotten how much I like to look at Hugh Dancy. (How does one forget such a thing?!) Also, this makes me laugh for all his creepster staring at the girl as he's reciting Byron. (I also want to know how on earth I have half that poem memorized because I can't remember when I read it or why I would have memorized it). I blame episodic. :)


I didn't really get a lot of studying done today but I'm not so very worried about tomorrow's test. I'll pass the class no matter what I do, really, so I'm not so very worried about it. I spent most of today looking through pictures of Henry Cavill and Hugh Dancy and Jamie Bell a number of other really pretty boys. Mostly Europeans. Clearly this means that I need to make my way across the Atlantic at some point and marry a man (preferably kilt-wearing) and have lots of pretty babies (and I will then name them things like Jamie and Bailey and other names that rp characters of mine have already held). Except maybe not really. Who knows!

This entry has basically turned into a bunch of rambles but that's okay.

My mommy cried today because she started getting all sad for my leaving. We ended up eating pistachios and watching Winnie the Pooh on tv before eating dinner. Then we watched The Sing-Off which wasn't as good as I had kind of hoped it would be. I do so love a good a capella group. If you want a good one, go for a group like Hyannis Sound! (hello, random plug >_> )

Tomorrow I have sushi for lunch with a friend, then my test at three, then dinner with another friend. I can't really remember the last time I had plans like this, but it's kind of nice. Definitely a change from the norm.

And this has been a lot of rambling. So I shall stop now.

( Clubs )

Hello, Brain. We have work to do. Functioning would be appreciated.

( Personality section word counts. )

( Who comments the most on this journal? )

I always forget that so many people have commented in this journal because of the snaps cups and stuff!

( Comment stats for this journal! )


Also, ij, I would like to have my icons back, please.

My CDJ stats were so large that I have to break this into two posts.

( Susan, Gus, Neville, and Lucy )

Comment stats!

( my table is huge )

post too large wtf

( ~theminister )

( ~sahasradala )

Who comments the most on this journal?
( ~rainbowling )
This is not 100% accurate since I do delete entries sometimes.

( ~brewskis )

( ~voodoo_q )

( Personality Section Word Counts )

Other things of note:

- I've run out of unemployment benefits
- I am working on an application for Hannah Abbott at mulligan_mods
- I need to introduce Selene.

So, after talking to Kati about Notts, I wanted to get a head start on Cressida's personality while I have it all in my head. And I'm nowhere near finished and shit is long. Xan and I had been talking about how we were trying to be more concise in our apps, and I went back and decided to look at how long the personalities are on all of the apps that I have, which goes back ~2 years to Dedoleo.

( How much, exactly, do I write in personality sections? Turns out a lot sometimes, and sometimes not that much. )

Hooray! Caught up on tags, icons for ickle!Oliver, Emmeline, and Ava keyworded properly since I never did that, and my current character list is updated!

Tonight I made a hibachi restaurant style dinner, except it was at home in a pan instead of on a grill. Shrimp, steak, and stir-fried bean sprouts/zucchini/squash, along with some miso soup. And it was delicious! My mom and I got to sit down and talk some, which was nice.

I don't have a whole lot going on, so I'd love to talk plot or play with some of you if you're up to it. :)

Random, but I miss writing Wayne Hopkins in a post-warts setting. And my Slytherin girls.

I think I may make some fried bananas for dessert. That sounds delicious!

So, Abigail's future is looking up (or down...)! She will marry Gus's big brother Claudius, and have babies. Lots of babies (FOUR HUNDRED BABIES). One of them will look like a Grayson/Gus spawn.

>:] lmao

I think that, of everything I've written for RP in the past six years, this is one of the things of which I'm most proud. THANK YOU ALYA for writing it with me and being the Zach to my Megan!

And it also made me cry a little :x

Rping this time of the year is so painfully slow. I was in three rp groups. One was closed by the mod. The other two are very slow.  I dunno if one of the slow ones is even going to last since no one seems to post on it. The last post was a playlist and I don't think that counts as a post persay. I love my charries there and it is the only place I can play my Ginny. :(

I am apping for Stephen Cornfoot at my good rping friends group, mulligan_mods. I have missed Kassie SOOOOOOOO much and she talked me into apping. He willl be very similar to my Michael Corner and will be best mates with Kassie's charrie Sebastian Bradley so that will be cool. I just need to finish his app. If I get accepted I will at least have one active group. I will then cross my fingers that the other ones stay alive.

Also in my person live my shins have been HURTING THE FUCK OUT OF ME!! They Aare really red, sore and have a burning senstation. I know it is a circulatory problem because of the shoes I wear. I just want the redness and soreness to go away. I bought some new shoes with my mom and I have off from work until Tuesday so hopefully that will help out my feed. I hope so anyways.

I didn't know if I was going to do this, but here it is.

( an individual thank you for everyone )

And I still want nostalgia on my last post. Go, go, go!

Anybody up for playing/writing something tonight?


Opting for bed now instead.

So after the crazy of yesterday, I spent today lazing about and now I don't quite know what to do with myself! I need to do a little cleaning and that sort of thing. Then tomorrow's my Italian final, and after that I need to see about figuring out my answers for Tuesday's Medieval Europe final. And catch up on sleep.

RP-wise I think I'm pretty much caught up on things. I need to do something with Ava at BNW. Emmeline was submitted to 91 today, annnndddddd yes.

I think I'm starting to get sick and I really really don't want to get sick, but I suppose this is one of the better times to be getting sick. I also need to start thinking about packing and getting all of that kind of stuff done.


Anddddd yes. That is all I have for now.

I'm always wary about writing big long thank you posts because I ALWAYS ALWAYS forget people's names. Like...I'll write this big long thing thanking A, B, C, D, E, and F, but then remember after I've posted it that G and H were of equal importance and now likely feel slighted, and there's nothing more assholish than posting "EDIT!: THANK YOU G & H TOO!!!!" Because...seriously.

I posted a comment this morning. I don't think I was supposed to, but oh well. Last night, my computer seized up mid-Megan-flip out and my fiance was like "Well, we should take this opportunity to unf unf unf, since you're going away on Tuesday and not coming back for a month." And I will not lie, I fought to get my computer to stop spazzing until the last possible second, and even as we started unfing, my brain was saying "BUT MEGAN NEEDS TO TELL SUSAN WHAT ZACH SAIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDD." So I commented this morning.

( OMG this got so LONG )

I will miss this game, much more than I ever thought I could miss a game. I love you all.

...EDIT SEE I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN: Sam and Meg are goddesses. The end.

So, R is over.

I'm crying like the big baby that I am.

It's so weird to think how, almost thirteen months ago, there were four of us sitting around, talking about what doesn't work about DH games. We'd all played at Dis, which was kind of the forerunner to P, and concluded that ~8 months is too long to make Carrowarts interesting. Either it takes too long for things to get intense and it's a purely social game, or there are months and months of pure brutality. That's what we had experienced modding Dis, Cate and me. We also talked about how school games always seem to start in September, you play that, Halloween, maybe Christmas, over and over again.

So we got rid of both problems by having P be a super short DH game, contained to the second term up until the final battle. It was intended to be a super short game, but the truth was that I don't think any of us were ready to let go. Not yet, at least.

R has had its ups and downs. There's been times where it's been hard to be creative, and times where I've felt really stressed. But I'm so glad that we did it, because it's been so amazing. Sam has been a wonderful co-mod, she's put up with me, listened to my sometimes crappy ideas, and done a lot of work. Looking back, I still kind of can't believe we actually modded the final battle from DH together. Compared to that, all of R seemed like a piece of cake.

But let's be honest. P/R would not have happened with just me and Sam sitting around coming up with whatever. All of the players at R have been amazing. I really do think each and every one of you is amazing. I loved all of your characters -- even if we didn't play together a lot, I was watching, in a non-stalkery way. Words cannot express how much I appreciate all your hard work, the battle logs and the comment spam and just... everything. I know that a lot of you came to us not really knowing what you were getting into, that when we said things will be dark, we meant it, lol. And I'm glad that you stuck it out through the darkness and the suffering that we thrust on all of your characters. I'm really happy that the consensus seems to be that it was a good experience.

I really suck at good-byes and endings. I'm the kind of person who always thinks they're ready to let go, and then I'm not when the time comes. I kind of feel like I'm graduating from high school again, when I found out as I was standing there I just wasn't ready to let go. I don't know if I'll get to play these characters again. I can't imagine doing it without this kind of character development. The events of P really, really impacted R. And I feel like I can't erase that for my characters, and I can't imagine them without the cast they had around them.

I'm glad that R ended the way that it did. I felt like I did everything that I wanted to, and when we stopped posting tonight, I had had so much fun commenting and just... playing. One last hurrah, you know? But I still don't feel like I'm ready to let go completely.

So, I'm going to make an open offer that, if anyone wants to PSL with me, I'm totally willing. I can't promise that it will be my first priority, but I just... want to keep a little piece of Susan and Gus especially. Neville too, but not as much, probably because even though I have adored his interactions, with Hannah and the Trio and Ginny especially, he's never really felt like mine. It's kind of amazing how much Susan and Gus especially have grown in the last year. And I love them both so much. Susan especially, has been my #1 character ever since Dorcas died. She's just one of those that you really click with, always, and letting her go and knowing that I won't be able to bring her back, at least, not so that she's the same, is really, really hard. Her Hufflepuffs -- Megan, Hannah, and Justin, and Theodore, are those characters I can't imagine her without. Or, well, I can, but not so that she would be as much fun.

Damn it, I'm crying again.

I don't know if I have the energy or the heart to thank each of you individually. If I do, I'll do it tomorrow. Just know that I really, truly did appreciate each and every one of your characters. I loved them all. P and R have been my RP home for eleven months. The first game that I signed in and read every morning. It hurts to lose that home, but if anything, I know that I've met a lot of awesome rpers, and I'll find another one. I know that some of you guys aren't in any other games with me, or are leaving us entirely (Mags, I'm looking at you), but please don't lose touch. I miss you and your characters already.

I kind of want everyone to comment, and tell me some of their favourite moments (with or without their own characters, w/e), so that I can revisit them. SO, if you're up to it, do it. You don't have to link or anything. I'm just really nostalgia-oriented rn.

I love you guys.

Thank you.

Okayyyyyy I know you guys have cute pictures/gifs/links so can I ask you guys to spam me with stuff to make me smile? Please? Anything you'd like!

Or I'd also be amused by dirty drabbles (anything from a sentence to however long you want?) between one of my characters and one of yours, since that seems to be going around, too, if any of you are up for something like that. ;)

akdfjlakf school is stressing me out. like literally my stomach hurts.


i accept well-wishes in the form of dirty drabbles between one of my characters and one of yours.

*feel free to post them here or in a locked entry if you don't feel comfortable

I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Sue Sylvester.

The End.

Classes are done, and I have two exams to take. Those shouldn't be too difficult; I am reminded, however, that I need to get a blue book for my Medieval Europe exam.

Today I pretty much just want to relax and write as I can. I have that strange urge to write something historical again- maybe I'll see about writing some original fiction or something. Or I'll just go find all those books on Scottish history I borrowed at the library last weekend and read them and see what I can come up with.


It is so weird to not have to do anything for school. I'm mostly caught up on rp- I'm pretty sure I'm caught up on all the tags I owe, so today I think I'll hang out, make some meatball subs at home, poke at my app for Emmeline (I wrote a history for her in British Empire yesterday), anddddd yes. I need a good, easy-going day.

ETA: okay not quite such a lazy day but oh well. Off to the store then to do chores around the house.

FINALLY I slept. It was the most glorious sleep I have ever slept...I got in last night at around 9:30, posted on Facebook that my presentation went well, and then crawled into bed and literally fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow...and it was one of those deep, wonderful sleeps that cause you to wake up feeling revived and refreshed. I feel much better now.

And now I can tl;dr about Redemption, like everyone else, because I'm actually awake enough to not be writing like "MEgaNnn"...

( Speaking of... )